Our Jaunt to the Isle of Man with Top Gear Magazine

As some of you already know, earlier this year Phil bought Jeremy Clarkson’s Ford GT. As a result of this, Ford asked us if we would like to participate in an all expenses paid trip to the Isle of Man, for a forthcoming Top Gear Magazine article. Needless to say we didn’t need much persuading!  We’d just like to thank all the TG crew for this opportunity to go to a driving heaven with such a great bunch of guys.

Here’s the diary of our IOM adventure.

Our trip nearly ends before it has begun. We’ve heard that there had been an accident on the M1, but decide that it’s too long a diversion to go via the M40, wrong decision. At Junction 15A everything comes to a standstill as the motorway is shut. It’s obvious we’re going to get nowhere fast, so Phil’s faith in my map reading skills results in a high speed cross country route to rejoin the motorway several miles further north. At which point we get a phone call from Bill Thomas, to check on progress. Apparently on hearing our assurances that we’ll make the ferry, he turns to his colleagues and says “they’ll never make it from where they are”.  He’s rather surprised when we turn up with 30 minutes to spare! Especially as Lee Brimble, who’s caught up in the same incident, has to fly in the next day.

The next hurdle is getting the cars on the ferry. Some have already got the earlier one, but that still leaves the GT3, Prodrive Vantage, Ariel Atom, LP640 and us, to negotiate the rather steep ramps. A skier would call it a black run. Not sure who has the most trouble (toss up between the Porsche, Lambo and us), but the Atom suddenly looks a very practical option! Once on board, introductions completed and itinerary discussed, we set about the serious business of taking the piss out of Bill having to sleep in a pink tent. It’s nearly midnight when we arrive at the hotel, due to the ferry having a problem. Phil goes into reception to ask about the secure parking. Chris, the jolly night porter, states “Just park around the back, I’ll eat my hat if anything happens to the cars.” He’s referring to an area of waste ground, but he doesn’t look like a guy who’s been dining out on trilbies, so we leave the GT there. The hotel hasn’t given us a great first impression but we thank God we don’t have to sleep at the campsite – until we see our room (we find out later we have one of the better rooms). It’s like stepping into a Fawlty Towers set, only with friendlier staff; just as well we are going to be too busy to spend much time in our room.

Next day is an early start to take advantage of having the coastal road closed. The morning is going to be spent filming the cars going back and forth this road. A scene of organized chaos greets us with the video director, Russell, trying to take charge of the rabble. Everyone seems pretty friendly, and those we haven’t met already introduce themselves. Conversations range from the joys (or not) of camping, to Phil and Jason Barlow discussing the shut lines of the GT, whilst Emma conducts a cool/uncool poll of the LP640. As the cars and drivers gather in the morning sunshine, so do the onlookers. We start to realize what a draw Top Gear is, particularly when Stig arrives. We will get used to the incessant questioning regarding his identity over the next few days.

Paul Horrell squeezes into the Caparo

As well as the presenters trying out the various cars, Stig is due to give a ride in the Atom to the Transport Minister.  Once he’s been strapped in, Stig pulls no punches and sets off drawing black lines behind him – I think the minister enjoyed it! The funniest point though, is watching Stig trying to eat mini cheddars without taking his helmet off, unfortunately he declines my offer of a banana. Also amusing is watching a bemused policeman trying to find out who Stig is, as he’s investigating an earlier incident and wants the details of all the drivers.

Minister of Transport arrives

Gets strapped in

Then Stig takes him for a spirited drive

The afternoon is spent at Bungalow Station – the old museum on top of the mountain and site of a tribute to the great Joey Dunlop. The presenters and Stig take turns with the cars; Emma has to drive the Atom without shoes as one of them has gone missing. But by now the word has certainly got out that Top Gear are in town. Some of the attention isn’t appreciated with some idiots trying to drive close to cars whilst they’re filming – I suppose there are a few morons everywhere.

Enjoying the deserted mountain roads

Emma having barefooted fun in the Atom

Whilst Stig takes Joe for a drive in the LP640

Filling up after having fun

Filming completed for the day, we make our way to the front cover shoot location. On the way we all stop at the petrol station, which raises a few eyebrows! We’ve been told that the shoot would be taking place near Jeremy’s place, so we’re a bit surprised when we turn onto the golf course, cross the fairway, and head off down the bumpiest little dirt track. The cars ahead of us don’t seem to be having difficulty, but the GT only has an inch or so spare before it would be heading into a ditch. We wait to see how the LP640 and the Caparo manage. When they don’t turn up at first we begin to fear the worst, but it transpires that they had got lost. Rob in the Caparo gets a round of applause as he bounces his way into view – who says it’s not a practical car? The photographers then set about positioning the cars for the cover shot. This involves a lot of messing about, and what appears to be trial and error (although I’m sure they know what they’re doing). Once they’d given the cars a bit of a clean, I thought they’d start taking photographs, but no – the sun is still too high.  So we wait, and wait, whilst I take some snaps, more to have something to do than anything. Then with the light just right, Lee and Joe spring into action. A few minutes later it’s all over and nearly dark. We haven’t eaten anything by this point so a call goes out for pizza. It arrives in what must be one of the fastest delivery vehicles in the UK, a 500bhp Nissan R32 Skyline. Fully sated, we then contemplate the drive back down the track. It’s quite a surreal experience watching the Caparo in the wing mirror as it negotiates the ruts and potholes of a dirt track at night without lights. Back in the hotel bar I chat with its driver Rob, and his Dad, who it turns out, has won Le Mans – just shows that you never know who you may be sitting next to!

Jeremy's IOM gaff	Lee and Charlie arrange the cars	Lee, Joe and Charlie get cleaning
1	A selection of the cars	1

We’ve declined the offer to go for an early morning hoon the next day, citing the need for a lie in, but we don’t get one. Our room overlooks the car park and hence we’re woken by a dawn chorus of engine revs at 4.30. Having gone back to bed, we do at least get breakfast before joining the rest of the guys at the Bungalow. Unlike yesterday, no one is going to get sunburnt today. The rain and mist literally dampen everyone’s spirits. A farmer turns up to put up a “Caution Sheep” sign up, as one lies lifeless at the side of the road. There’s blood on the lambo but Piers swears it isn’t his fault. He’s become known as the grim reaper for the amount of road kill he’s been responsible for. After lunch and the weirdest tasting tea (something to do with the local water), we make our way to the coast. On the way we have to pull over as Owen is wrestling with the Lambo roof. Apparently at 30 mph it decided to come off, with one of the support poles dropping in front of his face. He decides that he’ll drive with the roof off from now on. Five minutes later the heavens open, and Owen has to put the roof back on with much cursing.

Traffic jam, IOM style

Arriving at the coast

Owen gets help putting on the lambo roof

Stig wants to drive the GT. As Phil gives him the keys, Stig asks “Have you had a new clutch in it?” “No, why?” replies Phil “You’ll need one after I’ve driven it!” responds Stig jokingly. As he watches Stig set off, by a bizarre coincidence Phil receives a call from his insurance company, he decides that it might be best not to tell them who’s driving it at the moment. When Stig comes back, it’s obvious that he’s been having fun; the GT is covered in grass. With a big grin on his face, Lee tells Phil that Stig really likes it.

	Filming Stig in action

What's Stig been up to? 111111111111111111111111111111111

A mate of Jeremy's shows that Emma's not the only one to go barefoot!

After a day of miserable weather, the sun comes out in the evening. The photographers want to take advantage of the light and so we set off through the wilds of the island. After several miles of trekking to various locations, we end up on the beach at Port Erin. Not wishing to question the wisdom of parking the GT on the beach, at dusk with the tide coming in, I keep quiet whilst Lee takes his photos. I’m just relieved when we’re back on dry land.

Searching for photo shoot locations	Into the wilds	Having fun
R8 outside our hotel	GT on the beach	Our hotel taken from the GT on the beach

After a slap up meal in a local kebab house (everywhere else is shut at 9.30), we retire to the hotel bar. Here we’re convinced by Pat Devereux that it’s a good idea to join him and the others for an early morning drive of the TT circuit – we’ll get woken up anyway so we may as well. And I’m so glad we did. OK at 4.30 the next morning I’m not so sure, but as our bleary eyed group meet in the car park, there’s an air of excitement. My job is to try to take photographs and video footage as we’re going along, without a camera mount; this is going to be an interesting task.

As we approach Douglas, we cross the bridge, and with one last wave to the fairies, we join the TT course. We still have to stick to the speed limits through the villages, but as we spy the white circle with a black line through it, we get ready to have some fun. We’re following the LP640, and every time Paul Regan plants his foot, the noise it makes sends a little tingle up my spine. I can’t believe how bumpy and twisty the roads are, and now have a new found respect for the guys that average 130mph around this course. After approx twenty minutes of blatting, we park up in a village; take a couple of photos and jump back in the cars. Paul accidentally revs the lambo, giving the villagers an early morning wakeup call! Now we’re about to go over the mountain section. As we follow the rest through a tight bend, the road then opens up, Phil changes down and boots it. I’m having difficulty keeping the camera still, but the speed is exhilarating. As we reach the mountain summit the convoy of supercars screams along reaching speeds of 165mph. The sun is shining, the scenery is breathtaking and there’s hardly any traffic (and what there is, gets out of the way pretty sharpish), this is what driving is all about. We pull over at the Bungalow for one last photo opportunity, the cars tinking away as we take our snaps. Then it’s our final run down towards the port. Phil has to be careful as he’s worried about cooking his brakes; running into the back of the lambo now would not go down well. So one last blast and then we’re back in the thirty zone. I stop the video, my arms now aching from trying to keep it steady for so long.

Early morning hoon

First quick stop

Quick photo opportunity at the Bungalow

We reluctantly head towards the ferry.  In the queue we come alongside a people carrier packed with kids, noses pressed against the windows. Their mother says we’d made their day passing them at high speed on the mountain. Neither of us can remember doing so, and have to check the video later to see it was true.  Getting on the ferry is as difficult as ever and accompanied this time by the now ubiquitous question of “Are you the Stig?” Once on it we reflect on our few days away, as everyone’s too tired to chat much. As we dock, we say our goodbyes and prepare for the trudge back to London.

Now we’re back where seeing that black and white symbol doesn’t seem so much fun, and the TT signs flashing past seem like a distant memory. We’ll have to go back to the IOM to experience that freedom again, but this time with local knowledge of where to eat!